An exercise in writing

Begin with "I remember." Write lots of small memories. If you fall into one large memory, write that. Just keep going. Don't be concerned if the memory happened five seconds ago or five years ago. Everything that isn't this moment is memory coming alive as you write. If you get stuck, just repeat the phrase "I remember" again and keep going.
--Natalie Goldberg Writing Down the Bones pg 22

I remember being very small and learning that my GG (great grandmother) had died. My parents didn't take me to the funeral and I was sad. When I learned that I hadn't gotten to go, I went into our backyard and climbed up onto our picnic table and cried and made a song about her and how much I loved her. I was two. I remember wearing a yellow dress my mother made to my birthday party when I was five. I felt so pretty in it. I balanced and skipped on the stones that line the walkways of the Stearns house and felt special because it was my birthday and we were having a party just for me.

I remember my teddy bear. It was brown and faded and almost missing an eye. I let my little brother Blake have it for a night in his crib and never getting it back. I remember the year mom made me my Mary Jane doll. I opened the package and realized that I had the exact same dress my doll did. I wondered how my mother could have found time to make it without my seeing. I remember wanting to learn to read and being frustrated because I still couldn't. I was frustrated because they didn't teach us in kindergarden and it took so long to finally get to it in first grade. I remember the day I learned the word "was." I remember riding my bike around the neighborhood and going to my best friend, Kelly Hagberg's, house and playing make believe. I remember the day in second grade when she told me she was moving to Temecula. I remember being the "country mouse" in my first grade play and being cast that part because I was so shy and quiet.

I remember hating junior high because I didn't have any real friends. My one friend, Michelle, was always nice in class and after school, but she wouldn't always talk to me between classes or at lunch. I was so relieved when junior high was over and I knew I was going to high school finally and it would be so much better. I remember becoming friends with Leslie Hoyt my freshman year and hanging out with my sister, Tasha and her friends. I remember my 1974 datsun B210--olive green, mat finish. I loved that car. The day the clutch started overheating I tried desperately to get to the church parking lot so I could call home. There were weekend nights at Disneyland, riding Thunder Mountain in the rain, and throwing pennies into Snow White's wishing well. I remember being so relieved to finally graduate and excited for what would come next.

I remember my first day at BYU--before class even started, meeting Jodianne Frodsham and Lisa Christensen at a Freshman Academy meeting. We rode back to our dorms in Bethany's White's car and I began to feel comfortable. I would take a nap in the afternoon and Lisa would come in to wake me up from my puddle of drool. I remember moving back in with Tasha after that first year. We lived in Roman Gardens with Tracy, Steph, Katie, and Aubrey. I remember falling on the floor laughing and declaring, very surprised, "I am funny!" I remember living with Katie and Candice and Jenni and Wendi and dancing on the coffee table to Shedaisy and staying up late talking. Lisa lived in the green house and one night we sat in the rain on her front porch and sang into the quiet summer night. The night Tasha got engaged I had been out for a walk, thinking they would get back later. I came home to a glowing sister and her fiance.

I remember the sticky coolness of the grass where I was sitting when I realized with utter clarity that I needed to serve a mission immediately. I remember the dimness of the room where we were sitting on the floor when I told Tasha the news. I remember Paige's sobs when I told her a week later on the 4th of July. I remember the unending feeling of anticipation as I waited for my call and the outings and adventures of getting ready to leave, with my mom. I remember the plane ride from Salt Lake to Dallas, Dallas to Florida, Florida to Honduras. How alone I felt traveling all by myself with a missionary tag. Then, how much love I felt for the Honduran people as we crossed over those green hills and sparse houses to the Tegucigalpa airport. I remember my head hurting incessantly those first few weeks--along with my blistered feet and overstuffed stomach. I remember the dust covering the leaves by the dirt roads in the summer, the looming, magnificent green mountains, that first bite of mango, Hermano Cano's first plea for help. I remember the exhaustion, the ache, the determination. I remember the sinking feeling of driving away and the apathetic feeling of entering the airplane home. I remember the smiles amide a sea of red I saw as I was coming down the airport escalator.

I remember when I first met Katy Olson. I could see her through the front window sitting on our couch with a bandana on her head and a plaid shirt on. I remember thinking: "we will be friends." I met Katy Cullen and Nick Stephens the next Sunday at our first ward prayer. I remember my nervousness for my MTC interview, and my quiet confidence that I would work there. I remember how overwhelmed I was when I started, how unsure. I observed Evylyn Griggs those first few days and found the words and lessons needed to teach those missionaries. I remember studying and restudying the welfare doctrine four months later as I began teaching the welfare sisters instead of English elders. I remember the way my worries would slip to the back on my mind the 2-4 hours I was in the MTC each day.

I remember meeting Kit Mantz at the BYU career fair a year ago and talking to him about San Juan School District. I remember calling Tasha on the way home and telling her, surprised myself, that the school district I liked the best was in south east Utah. Who knew? I remember the drive down with Nick for my interview, the snow, the amazing clouds, the nervous feeling in my gut, and my confidence that again, I would be offered the job. I remember the quiet peace I felt as I decided to take the job and began making plans to furnish an apartment and teach high school English. I remember my total fear before the first day of school and the endless hours of planning and grading that occupied those first few months.

and the 25 minutes are up...