A few minutes ago I was kneeling next to the couch (where the computer was perched just out of Raymond's pounding reach), and I could hear Raymond laughing to himself as he pattered his way around the kitchen, stopping here or there to bang on a metal lid or pound a spatula against the floor with a splat. And I smiled.
He is perfect. Such a happy boy. So curious. So excited. I love his eager giggle as I crawl toward him on the floor, as the tickle monster. I love his little glance of defiance and excitment as he opens a cupboard he shouldn't get into. I love the way he snuggles his head into the crook of my elbow as I nurse him to dreamland--it's just about the only time he cuddles in any sort or fashion. I love the wild ruckus of bath time, the water everywhere. I love his perfect love for the Queen and King of his little kingdom, he has such adoring eyes.
And sometimes I wonder, will I remember, in ten years, what it was like to be the mother of just one? To focus all my attention on his little wagging crawl around the house? Will I possibly remember?
This week we successfully played "catch" as we threw the ball back and forth. He has a pretty good arm, actually. We're working on aim.
He also mastered the answer to the questions, "Where is your nose?" Is it possible that his little brain has wrapped itself around such a concept? His prompt dimpled finger to the tip of his nose is proof that somehow it has.
I hope I can still feel that little finger on the tip on my nose when I'm holding his grandchildren on my knee. I hope I will always remember the sweetness of sinking my lips into one of his soft jowled cheeks for a mama's kiss. I hope I will remember the way that one little tuft of hair (in his mini mullet) swings out into the softest of little curls after his afternoon nap. I hope I will remember the thrill in his eyes as he crawls into my lap to play patty cake. Or the somber observant expression in those same eyes as he watches someone new for a while before warming up into the social little fellow he is.
And I hope I always feel this overwhelming sense of gratitude at the stewardship that is mine, to love and teach and guide and protect this little Child of God. Oh how glad I am that he is mine.
10 comments:
Oh, he is so cute Carly. I just cannot wait to hold and love him up close and personal in just a few more weeks. 2 actually. Yeah! Treasure this time with only 1. I really do look back to fond memories of it just being Tanner and I. YOu can just give them so much more attention. But, as you add one more and one more again different joys and happinesses occur. You get to experience the joys of sibling love and seeing more intereactions. You won't remember it all, but hopefully as I do, you will just remember happiness. Love you Jane Girl
I wish I were so eloquent as you, to put down my thoughts so well.
Aww! Being a mother is so wonderful. I am glad you put those precious moments down in words. Then you will have those moments forever.
Well said! What an amazing, adorable little guy!
oh this brings tears to my eyes! Every day I am just amazed at the Blessings kaden brings into my life. I really hope we can remember. and there is nothing better than the nursing and snuggling.
Oh he is such a sweet and happy little guy! I can't wait to see him again. At least you have it written down, if nothing else that should bring back those sweet memories! And I know we always say we can't see the Christiansen in Raymond, but in that very last picture I see a glimpse of Jeremy, one picture comes to mind so I'll have to find it to compare!
Odd that jackster would make that comment. As looked at the first picture in the swing, my first thought was Jeremy, it reminds me so much of Jeremy. Can't quite put my finger on it, but there is a look or a feeling there that speaks jeremy to my soul!
seriously i love the way you write. can i just callyou and tell you what i'm thinking then you can articulate for me in beautiful words. This was perfect. Enjoy the journey, that is what it is all about.
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