When I moved into my own apartment for the first time, I was surprised to discover how much of a clean freak I am. Every Saturday I would sweep and mop and organize. I loved keeping that apartment spic and span. And with only myself making the messes, it was pretty easy to do.
There is something so calming and peaceful and good about a clean living space.
Getting married added a new dimension to Saturday cleaning. Not that Jeremy is overly messy (although I think his mess-tolerance is much higher than mine), but two people are inevitably messier than one.
I soon discovered an interesting fact about myself: I have a much higher tolerance for my messes than for someone elses. Hmmm.
Enter toddler to the mix. Wow. I can't even clean the first mess before another one is underway. Crayons thrown around the living room. Pots and pans pulled from the cupboard and spread out on the kitchen floor. Toys dumped from their places, and books strewn about the room.
All done in one nursing session.
I don't know how he does it so fast. His latest favorite is to open the fridge (a sad day when that skill was learned) and line the ketchup, mustard, and Worcestershire sauce up on the table or throw everything he can grab into a pile in the baby swing.
Sometimes I want to pull my hair out in frustration. Because messes that big nigh unto give me anxiety.
We're working on the concept of putting away what's out before moving on to the next toy. It hasn't caught on quite yet.
But today, as I was reminding myself to breathe deep and not let it get to me, I thought about how this is life for a while. Once Raymond is old enough to be better at picking up after himself (or at least able to understand that concept), Ginny will have taken his place in mess making. And another after her. And so on. I am only at the beginning of toddler messes, I think. (I'm not sure I want to know what comes after toddler messes.)
Anyhow, it's a struggle for me. To let the cleanliness go. To be ok with cracker crumbs inevitably sprinkled all over the carpet. To not crawl after Raymond all day (everyday) putting away what he just got out and already left behind.But to be quite honest, the constant clean-up duty is exhausting sometimes. But I can't just give it up. I can't live like that. Such a conundrum.
Anyone else been able to strike a better balance with this? Thoughts?
12 comments:
I'm not nearly as tidy as you are, but I've found the best method for me is to just let her play for awhile. We will periodically play the "can you put this away?" game, which is almost as entertaining to her as getting it out. Except movies, which she finds frustrating but still loves to do. But for the most part, I just let the messes go (what ones I can, anyway) then after she goes to bed, we do a big cleanup (or right before bed for her bedroom, and she helps with that one). That way I can still wake up to a clean house, but I don't have to clean all day long. And turns out, with two adults working, cleaning up all day's worth of messes doesn't actually take all that long.
You could also do a major cleanup during naptime.
Oh, I can just feel your pain on this one. It has taken me a long time to let it all go. (And I still struggle.) I have kind of fallen to a similar pattern as Tianna. You just cannot pick up ALL DAY LONG. That wears you out too much...especially when you have 3 making the messes. Sad to say Raymond is not going to out grow it for along time...and then they just keep adding on to one another. If we get out sets of toys (like the train set, or legos, etc.) they have to put them away before we get anything else out. But, reality is most of my clean up (of picking up cleaning) is done at the end of the day. Good luck cute sister. I sure do love you. Off to find that post you sent me. The link wouldn't take me there.
I really think its a losing battle. I seem to get the most help from my toddlers when I sit and put things away with them. Another thing that has helped me is that every toy has its own place. For example all of the cars have a bin , as well as the legos, blocks, barbies, etc. I don't really have a toy box except for a few small toys for Paisley in a basket in the family room. My kids are allowed to bring out one bin at a time. If they want another bin than the first bin has to be put away. The only time this gets hard is when their are friends at the house. My house is still not perfect or clean all the time but I am trying to teach my kids responsibility. Even at a young age when they might not understand they are watching us and they love to mimic.
Nope. Life with kids is a non-stop cycle of cleaning, laundry, cooking, and dishes. Once you think you have it under control it all needs to be done again. And it is exhausting.
Here's how I cope (since I can be a bit of a neat freak myself and a messy house really does stress me out). I know that the house will get destroyed over the weekend. I never bother cleaning on Friday, Saturday or Sunday unless we are having company over. I like to clean the whole house on Monday and Tuesday because then I can enjoy it for at least a couple days. I also only tidy toys twice a day, before naps and before bed. I never leave dishes in the sink before I go to bed. These things help keep the mess at bay. Good luck! Gotta still love the cutie pie kiddos. :)
I am (sadly) a messy person. I don't have kids yet, but when I do I dread the thought of how I am going to teach them to pick up after their messes. When I often find myself chasing after my own.
I like the idea of having a clean up at the end of the day. I know the plan that worked in my house growing up was a toy bin. Then the mess could be contained to one area.
I hope that you are able to find the peace in all the madness. Like you said in an earlier post - look at their faces and all will be well.
I'm learning to let go, and I have for the most part, though I do love a clean house. I've decided I'm only going to have a MAX of 2 cleaning sessions a (normal) day. Usually I let the boys play with toys in the morning, then we eat, and do a clean up together before nap time. Sometime I'll do a LITTLE bit of quiet pickup while they sleep. Then they wake, play, we have dinner, then do another pickup right before bed and Jason and I try to finish what doesn't get done. I think it's easier when you know that while it's not clean and picked right at the moment, that it will be soon. Also we do the bin thing and make sure they know each thing has a place. Eventually they get it, but it takes a lot of practice. And just so you know my house was pretty much a disaster for the 6 months after Max was born. It was either clean or sleep. I chose the later for my sanity.
I have had the same struggle as you, and I only have one child who is now six years old! One thing that I worried about when she was younger (and still do, but it's much better) is that she won't learn these skills to clean up. But she has. And Raymond will, and so will Ginny. "Small and simple things" bring great things to pass--and daily tidying is a great example. Don't give up. One thing that might help is to have two times a day to clean up, say before lunch and before bed, or before dinner, or something. That way you know there is an end in sight when it will be tidy. Since Clara is in school we have one time a day and I call it our "Clara stuff hunt"--it's fun to hunt for stuff that you need to put away. :-) You're doing great!
It's funny because i just posted yesterday about my messy house. When I first was married and we had only one child, my house was usually pretty neat. Now with three kids and me going to school in the mix, my house is always a mess zone. It's never over. My oldest is almost eight and he finally picks up after himself. Good luck Carly!
I try to be Zen about the mess during the day. If there is a mess in their room, it means they have been playing with their toys (instead of watching TV). But it has to be picked up before bed. I have to have a few moments of tidiness to myself before I go to bed and have to do it again the next day! Good luck finding your happy place amidst the mess.
Also, the difference between your mess and someone else's mess is that you know you're going to clean your mess up. Someone else just left it there assuming that it would get cleaned up. That is what's frustrating. ;)
I have become so lax in my cleaning, it is horrible. I agree that with a toddler major clean up twice a day is reasonable. I really try to have my kids clean up before they get more toys out. I have a lot of kid proof locks in my house. Here is the link for the one on our fridge, it has saved a lot of frustration. We found it at Lowe's or Home Depot. I also have locks on all my cabinets. Russell is discovering everything! I put things up high like markers, crayons and play dough so they have to ask to play with them (at the table). Be of good cheer. You have a beautiful, healthy, curious little boy.
The links
http://www.amazon.com/Safety-Lock-Release-Fridge-Latch/dp/B00068O250
http://www.amazon.com/Safety-1st-Multi-Purpose-Latch-Pack/dp/B0034C7NV0/ref=sr_1_59?s=baby-products&ie=UTF8&qid=1299093693&sr=1-59
my cousin's wife said that happy children are better than a clean home. She made the comment in the mist of watching her 27 year old husband die with lung cancer and 3 young children to take care of and clean up after. focus on what's happening in the mess and not so much on the mess. LIke tasha said do a clean sweep a night then you can enjoy the clean until he wakes up in the morning:)I keep a basket in the family room. We have a playroom, but toys always seem to make their way to the family room. At night I can pick up the toys and then empty the basket and start off the next day clean.
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