Thoughts

Last night Jeremy and I found ourselves with a sleeping baby and quiet time to read. As Jeremy is reading Miracle of Forgiveness by Spencer W. Kimball, we soon were discussing the doctrine of repentance. We discussed what it means to recognize sin, to feel godly sorrow.

Then this morning I opened my google reader account and read Tede's blog post all the things she needs to do better. I've been thinking about it all morning. I, like Tede, make myself lists of the things I am not doing adequately. I think many of us fall in the pit from time to time of berating or belittling ourselves for our inadequacies. We get lost on that fine line between sin and weakness.

So this morning, while Raymond decided to take an uncharacteristly long nap, I decided to study more about repentence. I started in lesson 3 of Preach My Gospel. This has one of the most beautiful definitions of repentance, my favorite line being,

"Repentance includes forming a fresh view of God, ourselves, and the world."

I have pondered often upon this statement. Today it lead me to reread a BYU devotional Elder David A. Bednar gave while he was President of BYU-I in 2001, titled "In the Strength of the Lord." This devotional had a profound influence on me so many years ago as I sat in the Marriot Center and came to understand a whole new dimention of the atonement.

Yes, the atonement redeems us from sin. But it also enables us have the strength to handle whatever circumstances we are placed in. Our Heavenly Father often does not change the difficult circumstances we are face with, but he can give us the strength and capacity to handle, to deal with, and even to change those circumstances ourselves. It is the enabling power of the atonement--often called grace in the scriptures.

I would say then, that through the atonement we are able to "[form] a fresh view of God, ourselves, and the world." Far too often we (I) feel overwhelmed by what we are not doing. Some of those things we fail to accomplish fall under the category of sin. But so many of them are simply circumstancial. The Lord is testing and proving us to see if we will do all the things we have been commanded to (Abr. 3: 25). And He is purifying us. He is trying to make us saints, as Elder Bednar teaches. But he does not send us into the fire alone. He provides a way for us to overcome our inadequacies and imperfections, to not only endure, but endure well. And it certainly isn't to do it alone. Rather, when we call upon the enabling power of the atonement, we are able to do all things.

I don't know if my zigzagging thoughts are making much sense or are articulate enough to say what I am thinking and feeling this morning. In Elder Bednar's words,

"The Atonement is not only for people who have done bad things and are trying to be good. It is for good people who are trying to become better and serve faithfully and who yearn for an ongoing and mighty change of heart. Indeed, "in the strength of the Lord" (Mosiah 9:17) we can do and overcome all things."

I know that I am wrong to think I must change or fix the things in my life that I don't like. If I go at it alone, chances are pretty good that I'll not get very far. In order to best handle any of life's circumstances, to become better than I am right now, I must draw upon the enabling power of the atonement. If I use both the redeeming power to overcome sin and the enabling power to become better, then I can do all things. The To Do list and To Change doesn't have to be so daunting.