Some things in our house are not optional

Like red kitchen towels.
And family prayers.
And nap time.

Raymond is actually an pleasantly long napper (read: a one hour nap is uncharacteristically short). As soon as I read Marc Weisbluth's book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, I became a believer in bed time routines and naps (and short intervals between naps), and falling asleep unassisted. I will try not to be obnoxious about how life altering reading this book was for sweet Raymond's well-being.  But, I'm telling your folks, just as he says in the very title of his book: a child with healthy sleep habits is happy. Dr. Weisbluth was on to something. I absoulutely 100% believe that Raymond would not be the happy, smiley, go-out-and-conquer-the-world boy he is (read: get into every thing possible... all while smiling and laughing) if I did not enforce naps and bed times.

Truth: when the boy has gone longer than two (maybe he can sometimes stretch to three) hours between a nap, he has bags under his red, bloodshot eyes. And he's on the brink of a melt down. No mother likes a child about ready to pop. Am I right?

Now, I know that Raymond is one of the lucky few that falls into the "long napper" category of babies. Plenty of babies are just "short nappers" (or shorter)  but no babies are "non-nappers." If you tell yourself that, you're fooling yourself. And your depriving your baby of the rest he needs to develop and grow and be happy.  (I'm sorry I sound obnoxiously like a know-it-all... but I'm just telling you what the man (Dr. Weisbluth) has proved with countless studies... all recorded in his book. You should read it.)

I get a few suspicious looks when I mention the fact that Raymond goes to bed between 5:30pm and 6:00pm. But you know what, I can handle it. It not only has helped him be happy, it's helped me be happy. That counts for something, doesn't it? Usually by about 5:00pm he's rubbing his eyes and getting fussy. We start slowing down, reading books, playing on the rug, closing the blinds. We take a bath and put on warm jammies (mmm) and get wrapped up tight in a blanket (yes, I still swaddle him under his arms for naps and night time... because if I don't, those feet are so wiggly and entertaining!). When I lay that boy in his bed after nursing him one last time for the day, he rolls right over and falls asleep (if he isn't already). So sweet.

(While I'm on my sleeping-soap box, I might as well add here that while Raymond's day and night sleep schedule might be, at times, inconvenient, I  feel really strongly that his needs should trump my own the vast majority of the time. Of course holidays and vacations and trips will mess things up every now and again, but for the many "normal" days in between, I should not be dragging him around according to my schedule. Despite the modern notion that babies can and should be able to go wherever (and whenever) their parents are going somewhere, if it's during his naptime or bedtime, I just don't agree (with the exception of Church of course). I know it gets sticky when you have older kids to get to and from school and whatnot, but still. Just because you want to go to the store right now doesn't mean you should, if it means you have to cut your baby's nap short. As Dr. Weisbluth says, "Never wake a sleeping baby.")

I've been working on helping Raymond fall asleep unassisted lately. For a long time I've nursed him to sleep for his naps. Dr. Weisbluth says this is a-okay (so long as your are consistent in your going-to-sleep routine and consistent in soothing completely to sleep vs laying down awake). Raymond has had a harder time falling asleep while nursing lately (he's so easily distracted. As still as I sit, I'm still a huge distraction to him), so I've been laying him down drowsy but awake. I'm not going to lie, it's been an uphill road. The good Dr. W says to let them "cry it out" for as long as an hour (for naps) but not longer. Most babies, he says, will only need to do this for a few days, but as long as a week or two. Well, we've passed our "week or two" mark. But I refuse to give up. Naps are not optional in this house. And, I've decided, neither is going to sleep unassisted.

When I started this post Raymond had been crying (fussing, talking, singing) for about 50 minutes. I'll be honest, I can't do much while he cries (so I try to distract myself with blog-land, thanks for listening). And then, all of a sudden (at about 53 minutes), he fell asleep. I tell you, I know this is going to be worth all the heartache. I know he's going to be a happier person his whole life if he can master the trick of falling asleep and soothing himself back to sleep when he wakes up. I've spent a decent amount of time awake in the middle of the night; I don't want to give him my own unhealthy sleep habits.

So anyhow, long story short, babies (and their mamas) need sleep. And while I hate listening to him cry, I know it is for his own good. It's like of like when I have to take away the (book, pen, piece of trash...) that he managed to get his hands on (and shouldn't have). I'm not going to keep letting him play with it just because it will make him cry to take it away. It's for his own good. And studies, says the Dr., have shown that "protest" crying "will not cause permanent emotional or physiological damage. In plain fact, the contrary is true (... for children over the age of four months and only during normal day and night sleep times)." (page 277). Don't feel guilty for helping your child grow emotionally and physically by getting the sleep he or she needs. Just saying.

Well now I'm rambling, sorry about that. Now that the wee man-child is snugly nestled in his dreamland, I'm off to take a shower! I hope you have a lovely (almost springtime!) day.