A few of his favorite things

Can you believe April is upon us? I don't know where March went, honestly.  But it means my sweet boy is just about 10 months old. He is such a little person, it's incredible. 

A few of his favorite things include:

Pulling all the books off his shelf (but hey, at least he sticks to the one shelf, you know?)

  (Oh, and coming straight for the camera if I have it anywhere in sight.)

The vacuum. Seriously, I thought babies were afraid of vacuums. Not Raymond. He follows me as closely as he can (while I dodge fingers and toes).

 Headbutts. Dad thinks it's funny, Mom thinks it's dangerous. If you get your head near his, it's a guarentee he'll try to headbutt you. Watch out!

Clapping. Still the highlight of life! At all times of day or night, while nursing or bathing, in car or the highchair, this little guy loves to cheer life on.

Dad's guitar. If he even thinks our bedroom door is open, he heads straight for it... and straight for the guitar. What can we say? It's the most fun thing to tap and bang on in the house!

 

And last, but not least, eating waffles. I swear this boy would subsist on waffles alone if I would let him.

My latest nickname for him is Little Lion, because he is absolutely fearless, always moving, and doesn't ever want to cuddle (just headbutt and wiggle and look intently around). And that little round face with a growing red mane, reminds me of a little lion cub.

The Husband Blogger

So if you didn't know, my Mr. Christiansen is a thinker.

His college classes are more like doorways to new worlds of ideas. He takes what his professors offer, and dives into the library and internet and becomes passionate. It's not unusual for him to come home and have a stack of new library books under his arm. Books like Freedom to Choose by Milton Fredman or The Tempting of America by Judge Robert H. Bork or The Federalist Papers.

And it's not enough to idly sit by while the world forms around him, he wants to be part of it.

But that doesn't mean he will be persuaded to believe what others want him to. No. He will think and reason it out for himself after surrounding himself with the fellow thinkers, professors, and the wisdom of the greatest minds he can find on library shelves.

So I'm pretty happy to inform you that his voice will now be entering the internet world. He's got a lot on his mind, and he needs a place to let it out. I hope you'll take a moment now and again to listen to what he has to say.

(Be forwarned that it may be controversial.)

A few thoughts on the food budget

We aren't poor. We have money that we've saved from when I was working, grants, and Jeremy's monthly (part time) income. There is no panic that our bank accounts will overdraft (mostly because I'm paranoid that if I don't have X amount easily accessible the world will fall apart). But it's pretty safe to say that just about every penny in our bank accounts in spoken for. The next baby fund, the (soon needed) new car fund, the summer/fall tuition fund, the emergency fund  etc. etc. So while I know there is money to our names, I sure don't feel like it. We're on a pretty tight budget.

But that's ok. This isn't a boohoo post. I know (KNOW) we are pretty lucky to have what we do. I know we are better off than so many. I know we have so (SO) many temporal blessings and full bellies and warm bodies to show for it. We're doing just fine. So don't feel bad for us, honestly.

But all that said, the plain facts are we have to say, "We can't afford that" all the time. Just about daily. I started a running tally of the things we may add to next months budget (because if we didn't budget for it this month, pretty much it'll get pushed to next month.) And today, as something else came up, I mentally started crossing things off that list. The list of things I hoped to be able to buy come next Thursday.

I'm not going to lie, it's been a hard thing for me to learn to say, cheerfully, "We can't afford that." Don't get me wrong, I've never been a huge spender. In college I kept a pretty tight grip on my money (especially considering I was responsible for paying my bills and tuition). And I always saved some at least beyond that. But I've always also been able to splurge a little here, a little there and not feel guilty about it. I have always been able to buy things for other people and not feel guilty about it.

Anyway. It's hard, but it's got to happen (and I'm getting more cheerful about it). I keep trying to think of ways and places I can shave back our spending that will allow us to have more money in other places. I know we can't have it all, so what can I give up in order to get something else?

We don't really eat out (unless we have a gift certificate). We don't spend any money on movies or video games or recreational activities. We don't buy ourselves clothes hardly ever (with the occasional exception being for Raymond, as needed).I make most of the gifts we give. Pretty much we pay our bills.

And so every time it comes down to the food budget. Now, when I lived alone, I didn't spend all that much on food. I ate a lot of stuffing, salsa (wal-mart southwest. Mmmm.), frozen peas, and cereal. I was busy and didn't cook hardly ever. I didn't care. I could make due just fine.

But since I've been married and started feeling responsible to feed Jeremy and now Raymond, I have a hard, hard time not spending too much money at the grocery store. Every single month it's a battle. A race to finish under my budget (which to give me some credit isn't huge to start with... but it's doable). But then I'm standing there and want to buy things I know we like to eat. Who wants to eat mac and cheese everyday? What is living if you can't buy fresh strawberries when they're in season? Or some pudding as a weekend dessert?

And not just that: even if I'm only buying things on my menu (and I do have a menu and a list every single time I go), I still over spend. So I've decided I must be trying to make too expensive of food. Too much meat. Too much cheese. Too much of something. I can't really figure out what though. So I've thought about sitting down and figuring out the actual cost of each meal I menu for (as in lasagna: noodles=$X, cottage cheese=$X, can of tomatoes=$X etc). But does that make anyone else want to cry? Although I really and truly am considering doing it.

Or maybe I should be using coupons. But to be totally honest I have absolutely NO interest in it. Nor do I want to be sifting through them every time I'm at the store. So I just need to be better at shopping the sales? (which I do for the store I shop at most) Or going to three or four different stores and shopping all their sales?  (Again, make me want to cry.) Or making more vegetarian meals? (although, fresh veggies can be just as pricey as the meat... Jeanine, I'm still thinking about Bountiful Baskets) Plant a garden? (Which I really, really want to do. A few potted tomatoes and herbs are in the plans)

Or eating beans and rice every day. (If only I had a live-in Honduran cook.)

Thoughts?? What do you do to cut back your grocery bills?

Gracious beans

Well, this is my first time ever trying to put a video on my blog. Goodness gracious beans, I could look at these sweet chubby hands clapping all day long! So darling.




In addition, here are a few snapshots from our family walk a few days ago. We love family walks. So refreshing. It was a might chillier than we hoped, so the extra red blanket on Raymond was intended to block the breeze a little.We don't mind the chill too much when it means we get some fresh air!

My happy boy. He loves to laugh... and we love to hear it!

I sure love my men-folk.

Too bad I've had a cold all week and just want to go to bed early rather than do much of anything productive. Hopefully I'll be better by Saturday and we'll be able to go on another family walk. Seriously we try to go every weekend. Fun times :)

Spring Break...

has been fantastic. Sleepy, lazy, yummy, fun. Good times all around. Ah, the life.

So great that I never even took my camera out of the car while we were in Blanding. Too much of a bother.


I did take some pictures of our walk today... but again too much of a bother to download.

Someday soon I'll snap back to action in blogland. In the mean time, we're enjoying our last day before the break officially ends (and the countdown to Blake and Whitney's wedding officially begins).


On a side note: Raymond learned to clap yesterday. It is officially the cutest thing ever. And now he is usually standing when I greet him in the morning. Ah, the sweet joys of milestones! Isn't life exciting?

All my love,

cj

I probably should be embarrassed

Speaking of mirror pictures, I have a long standing weakness for them.  Something about the awful yellow lighting, the glare, the struggle to get the angle just right, the justification for fuzzy edges. It satisfies a deep inner hunger.

It all started two (or so) years ago when I was living alone. I really didn't mind living alone the vast majority of the time... but it did encourage two things: dance parties and mirror pictures. Let me elaborate:

1. I think it all started with my first (ever) snow day. I was stuck inside (thankfully) and in the mood to use my time wisely.

2. Then I realized mirror pictures are good times. A few weeks later it was St. Patrick's Day and I needed the world to recognize that I was wearing green. I think this was a mirror/dance party combo.

3. And then I started using it as a way to record certain days

Like San Juan High School's Junior Prom. I was a chaperon (who also made it to the dance floor, if you recall)

Or the night Jeremy and I saw Horton Hears Who (and we ended up planning our futures together dating officially)

4. When I was home right before getting married (summer 2008), Paige got in on the action.

4. When I was pregnant, I started taking mirror pics to record the growing belly:

five or six months along:

34-35 weeks:

Right there at the end (the last few days) (Man, I was huge):

Since having Raymond, most of you indicate that a picture without him in it is, well, not a picture worth posting.  So today he joined the mirror pics club.

(Yes, I do realize he's been wearing that sweatshirt since he was roughly three months old, and it's a good thing you can't see how high water his jeans are. Don't worry, hopefully over spring break next week we'll get a chance to do some Raymond shopping in St. George!)

I really, honestly think these kinds of terrible pictures make the world a happier place. Don't believe me? Try a few yourself!

Christiansen Chaos and a Birthday Girl

Well, life has been busy in the Mark and Debbie Christiansen family.

One week ago yesterday Jackie (Jeremy's sister) had her sweet baby boy. Oh my.

(photos by Jackie. She's good.)

Those who know, say he looks a lot like Jeremy did as a baby, which isn't surprising since Jackie and Jeremy look so much alike. Jeremy says he hopes someday I have a baby that looks just like this (since Raymond looks almost 100% like me and apparently fathers deep down want their sons to look like them--at least a little bit). Haha.

Then yesterday, just a week after this little fellow came, Jordan (Jeremy's younger brother) got home from his mission is Houston, Texas. So exciting! This means the troops are assembling in Blanding this weekend... and WE CAN'T WAIT. While he was gone, Jordan got a new sister-in-law (me), three nephews, and a niece (am I missing anyone?). I haven't actually ever met the boy myself and am excited to officially know all of Jeremy's siblings!

And since we like parties (um, and good food... have I mentioned that the women in this family can cook?) I think we'll also be doing a little family shower for Jeanine (who's little man is coming in May) while we'll all be there (is this still true? Anyone?).

I say, let the Christiansen celebrations begin! Woot!



P.S. A shout out to my little sis, Paige Christine, who is the big 1-7 today. Goodness gracious, I couldn't love that girl more. A double Woot to the Birthday Girl!

(Um this picture was taken in the summer of 2008, sorry I don't have a more recent picture of the two of us. Pretty much mirror pictures rock. And pretty much Paige is just as adorable/gorgeous now as she was then.)

And, for good measure, here are some more never-before-published picture of my sassy, spunky, smart, and stylin little sista. Also taken in the summer of 2008. It was a good summer, what can I say? But don't worry, come May 2010 I'll be updating my photo archives of the two of us. Bring it.

Oh we're the best of friends! (name that Disney movie)

I've been thinking about writing this post for a long time (over a year?), but hold back because I don't want it to be a pity post. Yet this issue has resurfaced over and over and over in the past few years.

And it resurfaced again last night as we watched Elder Rasband's CES fireside last night on the importance of friendship and having good mentors. Every time there is a lesson or talk on friendship, I come to the same unavoidable conclusion:  

I am a bad friend.

I am being serious. I really honestly struggle with moving past the superficial in my everyday acquaintances. I can feel myself close up, build walls, and avoid commitment while having conversations with people. All the time.  I struggle to pinpoint just why I do it. Afraid of being hurt? Afraid of offending people? Afraid that all I'm really doing is bothering people? Afraid people will think I'm crazy? Afraid of the expectations associated? All of the above?

And yet, I really want friends. Now I know I have friends. Most of you who read my blog are my friends from one time or another, and I don't mean to diminish that at all. I love you, and I treasure your friendship in my life.

But I still can't escape the fact that I am not good at emailing, calling, or spending time with you. I'm not even very good at leaving comments on your blogs (although thanks to google reader I'm pretty good at reading them!) Most of you, however, don't live near me anymore, making it harder. (Tede Baker why don't you live in Cedar City? Oh the fun we could have!)

Right before I moved to Blanding (about two and half years ago) my dad gave me a father's blessing in which he told me I would make life-long friends while living there. I remember holding on to that promise for months when it seemed so out of reach. It took me, literally, months and months to make some of those friendships. It was hard.

Maybe because I'm so independent? It scares me to become vulnerable enough to really open up to people. But I don't feel like I'm a superficial person. I try really hard to be myself and to not worry about what people think. Sigh.

Anyhow, I did make some wonderful friends in Blanding. Now it's been a year and a half since moving to Cedar, and I still mostly feel like I have a lot of acquaintances here. Don't get me wrong, there are some wonderful people here whom I just love (Niki, I love you dearly, and I hope you know it); people whom I love to run into and chat with in the grocery store, love to do things for, love to see at church. But all the time feel myself closing up when I'm talking people. I find myself making excuses like maybe I'll make good friends when we're back in the married ward or maybe when we go to family ward. I just really struggle moving beyond the "Hi, how are you? How was your week?" conversations, you know?

And it bothers me that I struggle so much to make friends. Bothers me that I don't have the courage to put what is needed into the relationships I already have with people to make them blossom into real friendships. I don't make the phone call to see if so and so wants to go for a walk to the park with Raymond and I. Don't invite so and so over for a sewing day, even though she's hinted that it would be fun. Don't get babysitters to do double dates or just have people over on a Friday night for a game night (goodness how I avoid asking people to babysit. That deserves a post of its own. So hard to do.) What is wrong with me? I just don't know. But all of those things are really hard and they scare me. Silly but true.

Anyhow, after talking it out (again) last night with Jeremy, I've determined (again) that I'm going to get over this. That I'm going to make friends with people. That it is (without sounding too melodramatic) essential for my salvation. I really do think it's that important (see here for example).

And I'm going to try really hard to do better at maintaining the friendships I already have with many of you. To let you know how much you mean to me.

(Which is a lot.)

To each his own

Late Tuesday morning a big box from Wazoodle Fabrics arrived at our doorstep with my name on it.  And since then I've been in a diaper making frenzy.  After the big disappointment of the diapers I ordered (remember?) falling through (the company I ordered from was closed); after much debate, deliberation, and research; after weeks of waiting for my supplies to arrive... I've embarked on the adventure of sewing with elastic. (Which is, by the way, the worst part of the process in my opinion).

As as side note, I would just like to say that I do not have a convert-the-whole-world-to-cloth-diapers agenda. I just don't. I use them and am pretty happy with them. But if you don't, hey, don't feel too guilty. There are plenty of things in life to feel guilty about (aka sin). If this isn't a battle you've deemed worthy of fighting, you have my blessing.

And to second that, I definitely don't have an agenda to convince you to make your cloth diapers (should you choose to use them). In fact, if I could justify buying what I want (about 18 (swaddlebees) diapers in four or five different sizes), I just might have done it. But our savings accounts just couldn't take the beating. You've got to choose your battles. I knew I didn't want to be using big bulky one-size diapers for the next fifteen years (even when I could get them really cheap off ebay... check these out... wow) or I might just give up on the whole thing as soon as I could afford out.

So, I went with something I was pretty sure I would be happy with in ten years. Making my own.

The truth is, it's been sort of a fun little project for me. Since my fabrics showed up on Tuesday I've made eight diapers and fifteen inserts, with more in the making.  I seriously am cranking them out as fast as I possibly can (while still trying to make adjustments to get them just right).  So far that's enough to get us through one day (roughly)... but I hope to have a full set done by the end of next week at the latest.  All poor Jeremy hears about these days is diapers, diapers, diapers (seriously for weeks). Anyhow, as life-consuming as it's been, I'm pretty sure I'm made the right choice to make my own. They look pretty good, huh?

Here's a side-by-side comparison for you. On the left is a small fuzzibunz diaper. I can no longer do up the hip snaps on Raymond without the leg holes making little red rings around his legs.He started wearing this diaper (doesn't it look huge?!) at 2 months.    

On the right is a medium homemade diaper (with a whole inch added into the width of the pattern, I kid you not). It should theoretically fit him for the next 8-12 months (although some claim their children have worn mediums of this pattern well into their second year. Wow.). Neither diaper pictured has an insert in it. Do you see what I mean about unnecessary bulk?

And in case anyone else is as crazy as I am:

• I bought my fabric from here (although next time I think I'll go here even if it is a bit more expensive... customer service is sometimes worth more). PUL as my outer fabric, microfleece as my inner fabric, and inserts made of bamboo fleece and zorb.  We'll have to see if I'm happy with the absorbency in a few weeks, I guess.
• I bought snaps pliers rather than a press (considerably cheaper route) from this company
• I'm using this pattern (with some adjustments... it was just a little too trim (believe it or not), and I didn't think it would perform its function). The creator has been very helpful as she has been willing to email back and forth with me. I'm all about good customer service.

If you have more questions... feel free to email me (carlyjane35@gmail.com)

(Outtakes of trying to get a picture of one on Raymond... not working so much)

(I've since made smaller inserts, so they aren't as bulky as shown here. Notice he's headed straight toward that big overflowing box of diaper-making fabric. Ah microfleece.)

(this is the latest "crying" face he makes, producing a sort of nasal-y cry... He really wants that camera I'm holding. You can't see them, but the boy officially has four more teeth this week. Good times.)