Don't let the bed bugs bite

I must admit, sleep deprivation has been getting the better of us. Little Raymond has a sweet temperament. I can tell he wants to smile all the time. But he's just too plain worn out most of the time to do anything but fuss. And cry. And eat.

Particularly the problems manifest themselves at night. We've managed to settle ourselves into an unsettling routine. He goes to bed (at an unpredictable time between 6pm and 11pm). And then at that first waking (between 12am and 3am) we find ourselves on the couch... for the rest of the night. I am too tired to stay awake for a full nursing (remember, he's a slow little eater) and then a few hours later when we wake up, it's time to nurse again. It's turned itself into a perverse sort of co-sleeping with me in the upright position (talk about a kinked neck) and Raymond nestled into the boppy on my lap.

This has been going on for months, folks. We won't even go into the irregularity and brevity of his naps.

Last week, I decided it really needed to end. And soon. Since real co-sleeping (him in bed with us) is just not an option for us, I decided I needed some professional help to get us out of this mess. I started researching books on baby sleeping habits and made a little list of ones I hoped the library might have. Lucky for me (since the library didn't have any of them), my sister-in-law, Jeanine, had Healthy Sleeping Habits, Happy Baby. Goodness! I've been reading like a madwoman for a week now.

And I must say, Hallelujah!

While I don't want to jinx it, I just want to praise the fact that Raymond slept in his own little crib from 7:30pm to 6:30am with only a 45 minute feeding at 3:00am. And I woke up in my own bed this morning. Wow. I recognize that there is still much work to be done, and it's probably not always going to be such smooth sailing. But, wow. I recognize that it is my responsibility, even duty, to make sure he is getting the sleep he needs. Since I have been working so hard on helping him nap during the day (recognizing his sleepy signs and getting him to sleep before he's too fussy) and have established some going-to-sleep routines for day and night sleeping, he's perhaps going to sleep better at night. There is a light at the end of the tunnel.

I must say that I agree with Dr. Weissbluth that a well rested family is of utmost importance. So here's to sleep and the hope of more in the future!

The best chocolate cookies EVER

I really mean that. These are so good. I snagged the recipe from a cooking magazine (probably Simple and Delicious... but I don't remember). Anyhow, I've made these twice for Jeremy and I (and company to dinner). We can eat the whole batch in a sitting. They're that good. They are soft and creamy and chocolatey. And easy.

Today I made them extra mini (most are about 1-1 1/2 inches in diameter) for our ward BBQ tonight. When the RS president had called for the recipe, I offered to make the for her. She requested a double batch and that they be bite size. Little did I know I would get SO DANG many (235). Seriously.

I recommend you only make a single batch at a time. And make them a little bigger than pictured. That way (if you don't eat too much dough...) you'll get about 3 dozen.

Ingredients/directions:

mix until fluffy:
1 8oz. package cream cheese (softened)
1 stick butter (softened)

Add:
1 egg
1 tsp. vanilla

Mix in:
1 chocolate cake mix of choice

Let chill for 2 hours in the fridge (let's be honest, usually I just put it in the freezer for 30-40 minutes. Who has patience for two hours?)

Roll into balls. (I recommend spraying your hands with cooking spray as they are pretty gooey)

Bake at 350 degrees for 10-12 minutes (until the tops are cracked)

Let cool 2 minutes on the pan before placing on a wire rack.


But the big accomplishment? I am on a no sugar kick right now (to get myself back into control. Good grief.), and I didn't even lick my fingers making these. Thank you. It's all about the self control.

Popcorn

Once upon a time Carly and Jeremy went to the dentist.

It was a painful experience that included strict instructions to floss. Daily. (Who does that?)

Carly came promptly home and had popcorn for lunch.

And plans on cooking that sweet corn on the cob she has in the fridge for dinner.

Oops.

Looks like a lot of flossing will be in order.

Thoughts

Last night Jeremy and I found ourselves with a sleeping baby and quiet time to read. As Jeremy is reading Miracle of Forgiveness by Spencer W. Kimball, we soon were discussing the doctrine of repentance. We discussed what it means to recognize sin, to feel godly sorrow.

Then this morning I opened my google reader account and read Tede's blog post all the things she needs to do better. I've been thinking about it all morning. I, like Tede, make myself lists of the things I am not doing adequately. I think many of us fall in the pit from time to time of berating or belittling ourselves for our inadequacies. We get lost on that fine line between sin and weakness.

So this morning, while Raymond decided to take an uncharacteristly long nap, I decided to study more about repentence. I started in lesson 3 of Preach My Gospel. This has one of the most beautiful definitions of repentance, my favorite line being,

"Repentance includes forming a fresh view of God, ourselves, and the world."

I have pondered often upon this statement. Today it lead me to reread a BYU devotional Elder David A. Bednar gave while he was President of BYU-I in 2001, titled "In the Strength of the Lord." This devotional had a profound influence on me so many years ago as I sat in the Marriot Center and came to understand a whole new dimention of the atonement.

Yes, the atonement redeems us from sin. But it also enables us have the strength to handle whatever circumstances we are placed in. Our Heavenly Father often does not change the difficult circumstances we are face with, but he can give us the strength and capacity to handle, to deal with, and even to change those circumstances ourselves. It is the enabling power of the atonement--often called grace in the scriptures.

I would say then, that through the atonement we are able to "[form] a fresh view of God, ourselves, and the world." Far too often we (I) feel overwhelmed by what we are not doing. Some of those things we fail to accomplish fall under the category of sin. But so many of them are simply circumstancial. The Lord is testing and proving us to see if we will do all the things we have been commanded to (Abr. 3: 25). And He is purifying us. He is trying to make us saints, as Elder Bednar teaches. But he does not send us into the fire alone. He provides a way for us to overcome our inadequacies and imperfections, to not only endure, but endure well. And it certainly isn't to do it alone. Rather, when we call upon the enabling power of the atonement, we are able to do all things.

I don't know if my zigzagging thoughts are making much sense or are articulate enough to say what I am thinking and feeling this morning. In Elder Bednar's words,

"The Atonement is not only for people who have done bad things and are trying to be good. It is for good people who are trying to become better and serve faithfully and who yearn for an ongoing and mighty change of heart. Indeed, "in the strength of the Lord" (Mosiah 9:17) we can do and overcome all things."

I know that I am wrong to think I must change or fix the things in my life that I don't like. If I go at it alone, chances are pretty good that I'll not get very far. In order to best handle any of life's circumstances, to become better than I am right now, I must draw upon the enabling power of the atonement. If I use both the redeeming power to overcome sin and the enabling power to become better, then I can do all things. The To Do list and To Change doesn't have to be so daunting.

Husband attack

I gave J permission to "switch up" my blog a little yesterday. I actually really like it how it normally is... and don't feel much need to change things.

But he was ready for a change.

It's a bit bright, don't you think? I have a hard time not going cross-eyed while reading the posts.

But the picture is the best. Raymond was screaming and J was shhing him. But at least all the members of our family are in it, he says!

True confessions of a granola addict.

It has been a long-standing joke between Mr. Christiansen and myself that I am (a-hem) a little bit "granola." Now I know this term has multiple connotations--depending on who you are talking too--so I definitely don't mean to offend anyone. In fact, that's the joke. Mr. C sometimes calls me "granola" a wee bit accusatory (all in good fun) and I take it as a compliment. Here's a handful of reasons why, perhaps, he's right:

• I don't wear much (any?) make up. I don't even own much. When I do put some on (the occasional Sunday event) Mr. C compares it to adding salt to food. A little goes a long way in flavor... and too much can do the opposite. "Oh," he says, "you've sprinkled on some salt today!"
• I don't watch TV. We don't own a TV, in fact. Now I want you to know I have no problem with you owning and watching TV. Really, I don't. I don't think TVs are morally wrong (although for sure some of their shows are), I just don't want one. I'd much rather read a book, find out about the world on the internet, or watch a DVD on my laptop.
• I like to wear skirts. Mid week, in fact. Flowy, comfortable ones that look equally good with slip-on mary janes or flip flops (And I wish I currently had a few more that fit since my capris still aren't making the postpartum cut. Sigh.)
• I believe in whole foods. You know, lots of fruits and veggies. I think there is something morally wrong about Kraft singles cheese slices. Gross.
• I was super adamant about having a separate engagement ring and wedding band. Truth be told, that vast majority of the time I am a wedding-band-only kind of girl. I love the simplicity of it. How can I wash the dishes and change dirty diapers and (someday) weed the garden with a diamond getting dirty on my finger? (It definitely makes the diamond oh so special when I do where it)
  
• I have a hard time remembering to shave my legs ("AH!" you scream, "that is going too far!" The truth is, however, I am just not a hairy person. The fuzz I get after, oh, three weeks is often comparable to someone going three days. It's light and soft and hardly noticeable. I try to remember once a week. Really, if I didn't, you wouldn't know the difference. If I were hairy, I would shave.)
• Yes I did have a backyard wedding reception with daisies and vintage table clothes and handmade doilies on the tables. And I LOVED it. How did I walk away from that reception without a single vintage tablecloth, however? Someone tell mom I want one for my birthday this year too.
• I love the transcendentalists. Emerson. Thoreau. Annie Dillard (ok, so she wasn't an original transcendentalist, but Tinker Creek was practically Walden Pond. Oh how I love woods-romping ways!)
  
• I am a bit old fashioned sometimes. I like to dress Raymond in "day gowns." Or what Jeremy refers to as Man Dresses. They are just so smart. I love the homemade day gown Aunt Chris made. If I knew where my camera was I would take a picture for you. It's so beautiful I hardly want to put it on him.
• You've already learned that I've joined the cloth diaper revolution (although my main reason is much more for the economics than the environment... it does do my heart good to know of the environment saving benefits as well)
• Someday I really really want to live somewhere where there are multiple trees in my backyard, perhaps a small stream, some chickens, a trail or two. And wide open air to see the stars. Pretty pretty please. I pick Virginia, but there are other such nice places, I'm sure.
• I'm not afraid to take public transportation or to get where I need to go on my own two feet. I rode the bus in Provo for years. I loved the rickety old buses in Honduras. And I have actually walked to work the past 4 years more than driven (in Provo, Blanding, and Cedar City).
  
• For some reason that I have hard time articulating (even to myself), I felt very very strongly about wanting to have Raymond naturally. Not that I have any problem at all with epidurals (power to you)... I just could never imagine myself doing it. I really really needed to experience and be 100% a part of Raymond's birth. And holy smokes was it intense. But so very worth it. Even the nurse in the hospital refered to me as "100% whole wheat"!! Haha, Mr. C got a kick out of that one!
  
• I own chacos. They are by far the most comfortable sandle I've ever owned. What can beat high arch support while getting total breatheability?
  
• And yes, I actually eat granola. On a daily basis, in fact. And here's my favorite recipe for it:
  

toss:
6 cups oats
3/4 cups wheat germ (or some other hot cereal. I use Red Mill 10 grain)
1/2 cup oat bran
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup coconut (optional)
1 cup nuts of choice (I rarely have any on hand, so this is optional too, I guess)
1 1/2 cups dried fruit (usually craisins and raisins for me... although when I can afford it I add dried blueberries, mangoes, and/or pineapples)

heat separately:
2/3 cup oil
2/3 cup honey
2 T water
1 1/2 t. vanilla

Mix it all together thoroughly. Bake on a large cookie sheet @300 degrees. Stir every 10 minutes for 30 minutes (although lately I have been stiring every 12-15 minutes for 40-45 to get a slightly crunchier granola. Mmmm)

ps. Did I really just share all these brutally honest things about myself? Can we still be friends?

A few of my favorite things

wildflowers on my kitchen table

baby smiles

a fresh batch of granola

good books

a new hair cut (uh trim)

husband kisses

cool mornings

long walks

late night (that's relative) movie watching

homemade salsa

Brace yourselves...

After much debate, deliberation (and too many Wal-mart runs) we've officially gone cloth. As in Cloth diapers.

Keep breathing.

A lot of factors played into this decision. Way back in pregnancy days Jeremy had come across a spreadsheet indicating cost saving benefits of cloth diapers. At the time my only experience with cloth was what I saw in Honduras. It was highly ineffective and quite frankly a mess. I wasn't so interested in joining that club anytime soon. I saw a few modern, American versions on the internet sometime thereafter and was appeased that it didn't have to be the pre-folded, safety-pinned version... but I still didn't give it much thought.

Then Raymond arrived. And in about 2 weeks our supply of gifted disposable diapers was quickly coming to an end. We made our first Wal-mart run for diapers. The pack of 92 lasted no more than two weeks. I started taking the idea of cloth seriously. Honestly, who can afford roughly $40 a month in diapers? Who wants to?

I started doing some serious research. Most of my early searching started from this blog: theclothdiaperreport.com. She gives a lot of basic information about different types of cloth diapers, brands, etc. Since I was completely novice, I started at the beginning.

There are a wide variety of cloth diapers out there: prefolds, pocket, all-in-ones, one size... the list goes on. That is not to mention brands. Wow. Who knew? I spent seriously a full week doing internet searches and trying to figure out what would work best for us.

In the end, we have purchased Fuzzibunz sized diapers. They are pocket diapers--meaning there is an insert that I stuff inside the diaper before use. The beautiful thing about Fuzzibunz is that I do not have to de-stuff the diaper before washing. I simply throw it in the washer and the rest is history.

Oh wait... that's the part about this whole thing that grosses most people out: the washing. So far, I must say it's pretty easy. I do not need to rinse or soak these bad boys. Like I said, I simply throw them in. Someday when Raymond has more solid bowel movements I will need to dump it in the toilet before stowing the diaper in my diaper bin awaiting wash. But that's all. From there I do a cold pre-rinse, and a regular wash cycle. And I only use 1/4-1/2 the detergent. Since we've bought the lower end of the recommended number to have on hand, I plan on washing about every other day. Not so bad.

They seem to do ok with leeks so far. They do need the recommended initial 5-6 washings to be the most leak proof... but they still only leak about as much as the disposables.

And the best part? Besides saving the land fills from billions of diapers... there will be no more Wal-mart runs in the near future.

Oh happy day

We sure have a happy boy on our hands these days. Don't get me wrong, there's still some crying... but man is it worth it when it's countered with this happy face just as often. So fun!

Alive and Kickin'

I'm not going to lie, I was a little nervous for my first surgery. Never had my appendix out. Never had stitches. Never been to the hospital before labor and delivery. Heck, never even had my wisdom teeth out. So while gall bladder surgery is outpatient and considered routine, it definitely wasn't part of my routine.

But you know, it wasn't so bad.

Friday morning we were up bright and early. I did one last nursing and we were on our way to the hospital by 6am. A few short hours later I was a new person minus a gall bladder (with 14 stones rolling around in it... and one extracted from the bile duct).

By 1pm I was back sitting on my own couch, still a little dazed from the anesthesia. So far I've been doing pretty well. I am sore and achy and bruised around my incisions, but have been able to move around and nurse Raymond and fill up on jello and pudding and soda crackers.

My mother-in-law, Debbie, has been here to help take care of Raymond and keep our house in working order. She has been wonderful--honestly I couldn't have done it without her.

So all is well in the Christiansen household. Hope your weekend has included a few less cuts than mine has, however!

all my lovin'

cj