Reflections

Last Friday (the 12th) I turned thirty, friends. It's kind of a big-deal birthday. I have honestly been excited about it for just about a year. I am happy to have joined the "in my thirties" club.

More than anything it has made me think about and reflect on where I've been and where I'm going, and who I've been and who I have yet to become. In the last ten years, specifically, I feel like so much has happened. It makes me excited for the next ten years.

As a recap:

• Oct 2002: I had just started dating "the rocket" -- a relationship that fell apart about six months later. I learned immeasurably about the atonement, forgiveness, and faith as I worked to put myself back together. Maybe it sounds a little melodramatic (but, hey, I was 20), but this relationship and the aftermath was character forming in so many ways.
• Oct 2003: I was one month away from entering the MTC to serve in the Honduras, Comayaguela Mission. I was living at home and spending all my time with my mom. I was on fire with life, loved being home, and on pins and needles to begin my mission.
• Oct 2004: I had just been transferred (the week before) to Catacamas, and at the same time started training Hermana Paty Perez (from Guatemala). We were both new to the area and unfortunately neither of us had a very good sense of direction. Almost all the streets were dirt roads and all the houses adobe brick. We walked in circles! In the end, this was my favorite area, though. Oh, Honduras, I miss you.
• Oct 2005: I was teaching the "English" (three week) missionaries at the MTC and gearing up to teach the Welfare sisters starting in January. Working at the MTC will always be, I think, the best job I ever had. I loved it.  This was my first semester back at BYU after my mission and I was taking a bizillion Spanish classes since I had added a Spanish Teaching minor. 
• Oct 2006: I was still at the MTC, still teaching Welfare (although the program was on the brink--unbeknownst to me--of ending), still doing the BYU thing. I was living in that wonderful little house on 900 E and 700 S in Provo with Katy and Allison and Koseli and Shirsti. I loved that house. I loved those girls. I had just been called as the RS president in our singles ward.
• Oct 2007: I was a first year English teaching at San Juan High School in Blanding, Utah. I had just started this little ole blog and moving into my own apartment. I was crazy busy trying to keep up with teaching 11th and 12th grade English and AP Language. I spent late nights sitting in my rocking chair reading, Sunday afternoons going on long walks around Blanding, and Friday nights at the football games. 
• Oct 2008: I had been married to Jeremy 1(!) month. I had just found out I was pregnant with little Raymond John. We were newlyweds in love.Jeremy was in his first semester at SUU, and I was teaching Adult Ed and Even Start for Iron County (in Cedar City, UT)
• Oct 2009: Raymond was four months old; I was already planning and sewing Christmas presents (I remember spending months that year working on Christmas presents!). We were living in scholarship housing and I had just become friends with Lew Swank. I love her.
• Oct 2010: I was a month away from giving birth to Ginny. Jeremy and I were taking a married institute class together. Raymond had just started talking; I loved the way he would say "Moses" and point to the picture in the Gospel Art book.
• Oct 2011: We had just moved to SLC and started Law School. We were living in that "cozy" basement apartment. I was determined to bake all my own bread (it lasted until morning sickness kicked in two months later!)
• Oct 2012: And here I am living, in this beautiful old house, mom of three beautiful, fun, bright little babies. I feel like I have friends, am reading good books, have a great relationship with Jeremy, and in so many ways am at the prime of my life! Life just doesn't get much better than this.

So many wonderful things have happened in the last ten years. So much growth. So many faith building experiences. So many blessings. It is amazing to me to look back and see again and again how much Heavenly Father has guided me, blessed me, and helped me to grow. 

It is hard for me to believe that it has been only ten years, and at the same time, hard to believe it hasn't been longer. I feel I am at a cross roads, that I am leaving behind the characteristic phases of young adulthood--college, mission, young married years, first children. Ahead lies the "middle years." Growing children, a career for Jeremy, deepening friendships, "settling down," and the steady everyday tasks of motherhood. 

I wonder what is coming that I don't expect, can't anticipate. What challenges will come? Where will we live? What other little souls will come to our family? What hills and valleys await that are so far out of view? 

To be honest, I am grateful that life is always,endlessly, full of unknowns. So much of the last ten years was a surprise. Ten years ago I would have never guessed where I would have ended up.  I look forward to discovering what lies ahead, one day, on decision, one experience at a time.