Life Goals

This week I have been inspired by Janssen's post on life goals. That and the recent turn of events in my life (i.e. a newborn) has made me think about and reevaluate and ponder on just what I see in my long distance future. What are the things I feel I will do, see, become in not just the next year or five years or ten years... but, you know, if life?

Here's what I've come up with:

• have a whole gaggle of little ones and create the kind of home where their gifts and talents are brought to flower and fruitage
• become a much more accomplished seamstress
• be healthy and active (this goal, of courses, includes learning to can, baking homemade bread regularly, and taking lots of long walks)
  
• get a masters of English
• own a children's bookstore (I might have to someday settle for working in someone else's beautifully arranged and organized children's bookstore. I think this would be a perfect part time job in my grandmother years, actually. Hmmm. This goal has been around for so long, though, it's hard to give up.)
• serve a second mission
• write a ________ (something: I don't know that a novel us in my cards... but perhaps a collection of vignettes... at the very least I want to write my personal history)
• live in Virginia

In the meantime (since some of these are so very long term), I, of course, have a handful of short term (as in, this year) goals I am working on as well:

• rebuild my stomach muscles
• go on at least a 30 minute walk at least three times a week
  
• have daily scripture study / prayer
• handmake all my gifts this year (or at least most)
  
• read at least three books a month
• write at least 2 blog posts a week
• plan menus each week and live within my food budget
• not complain
• give raymond at least 100 kisses a day

What are your life goals?

Who would have thought?

When I first found out I was pregnant, I determined that I would enjoy every minute and every aspect of it. There were down days, not going to lie, but for the most part, I loved that little growing belly and the kicking wee one inside despite any discomforts.

At the end, however, I was so anxious for my little guy to come that I had to exercise some patience to not become frustrated that I was still pregnant. I was just so excited to find out what it was like to go through labor and delivery, to be a mother, to care for a newborn.

And then Raymond John came and it has been a very fun and rewarding adventure to learn and be learning all of those things. I wouldn't trade it for anything.

But do you want to know the crazy thing? I saw pregnant girl on Sunday, and I really missed being pregnant. I wished my belly was tight with a little one inside. Looking at her, I missed feeling all those kicks. I missed the anticipation.

Maybe I will look back in amusement when I am pregnant with my 4th or 5th and wish I was done being pregnant... but I am so glad to know (or hope, anyway) that it won't be the last time. I'm already looking forward to being pregnant again.


disclaimer: I'm not planning on getting myself pregnant in the next few weeks or months no matter how much I miss it, don't worry!

Person Post #1: Cute Katy

I have been thinking about doing more posts periodically about people I love. They are in no particular order and for no particular rhyme or reason, just a desire to articulate what I see and love most in people.

I first met Katy at the first BYU 48th ward Ward Prayer of the semester in the fall of 2005. We were both new to the ward and both a little unsure of our situations and surroundings. I had just come home from my mission and was jumping back into the whole singles ward thing, and Katy was transferring her records from the family ward where she had been attending with her mom and brother. Ward prayer that night was at Thomas' house and we both found ourselves sitting on the organ bench in his living room, making small talk.

Although I have very vivid memories of that night, I don't quite remember how we worked our way up from saying hello and chatting at ward functions to close knit friends. Katy lived down the block and around the corner from where I was living (in the Mama Gee house on the corner of 7th and 9th in Provo). Sometime that semester we started always walking to church together. She would walk her way to my house, and then we would walk the rest together. It quickly became known as "Carly and Katy Quality Time." We were avid walkers (refusing rides from well-meaning ward members cruising by) who would let nothing come between us and our quality time.

Sometime that school year our friendship advanced from walking pals to full-fledged friends. To distinguish her from all the other Katys in my life, she soon was referred to as "cute Katy." The title does not come unwarranted. Katy lights up a room when she enters it. Her personality is fun and friendly and infectious. Her bright smile and dimples make you want to smile back. she is oh so sassy, full of spunk, and stylish in a small-town-girl way. She is as kindred a spirit as they come. Katy-Carly-Quality-Time soon turned into hours of talking and laughing and all the goodness of close friends.

One of our ever favorite topics of conversation was the crazy dating world of Provo, Utah. Although we were often at different ends of the spectrum (her getting more dates than she could handle (and from the craziest people and places) and me not quite getting enough), life as a single girl at BYU was always an adventure and filled with awkward moments.

Cute Katy soon was also affectionately known as my "awkward friend." We would see each other and give the sign in ASL for "awkward" to indicate another awkward story was waiting to be told. Oh the endless awkward moments of college life! I tell you what, though, all that awkwardness is not so bad when you can spin it into a story and laugh about it. We always threatened we would write a book of all our crazy stories.

We would meet in the wilk to study together (let's be honest, not much studying happened! Grr to those long papers and endless reading assignments that distracted and guilt-tripped us as we talked). We would go running together (even on cold winter evenings), carve giant pumpkins on Halloween, stay up way too late talking in her living room or on the sidewalk in front of my house, sit by each other in church, and treat ourselves out to lunch or dinner.

There was a kinship in our friendship that was refreshing. Katy has taught me a lot about not being afraid to be yourself, taking advantage of the moment, enjoying the flowers, laughing at life's ridiculousness, and genuine care for others. She is honest and sincere, kind and compassionate, courageous and wise. Life, as the saying goes, has given her her fair share of lemons, but she is a lemonade connoisseur.

Since I moved out of Provo, we have both gone our separate ways and not kept nearly enough contact. I was so excited, however, that she took the big jump and moved to Indiana by herself to start a PhD program at Pudue. And now I am thrilled her awkward dating life is coming to an end (hooray!) as she is getting married to a very lucky fellow (does he know how lucky?) in less than a week.

Miss Katy, I am so glad there is you. Thank you for being your shining star of a self. Good luck with all the last minute wedding plans.

all my love,

cj

Pictures, as promised

Sometimes I just sit back and marvel that somehow here I am, married to a wonderful husband and now the mama to a sweet baby boy. How did this happen? I'm still not sure, but I sure am glad.

Little Raymond and I are still doing well. One of his favorite things to do while he's awake is hang out in his vibrating, classical music playing bouncy chair.
Would you take a look at those soft little cheeks? I hope all my babies are so blessed with such kissable faces. Goodness.

Monday or Tuesday last week Ramond John had his first bath. So far he definitely hates them... but what can you do?

This is one of my favorite faces he makes--with his little puckered lips. They, by the way, are also pretty kissable!
Despite hating his bath, he sure is happy once he's nice and clean. Here's a half smile for you.

Don't you wish you were here right now so you could hug and kiss and love this sweet bundle?
And here is his (almost put together) nursery. The crib and ABC wall hangings and bookshelf: So far I still am not so sure about the mobile I had planned on making. If you look close, you can see the little flock are pecking away atop the bookshelf... someday the might take flight, we'll see.

A couple in our last ward gave us an old glider. It was, however, cushion-less. Conveniently we had two big bed pillows someone had given us for our wedding that were still not being used. I made up some log cabin quit style pillow cases and love my good-as-new glider. You don't want to know how many hours I have already dozed in this chair in the middle of the night...
And lastly, here is the Christiansen family changing table. Mark, my father-in-law made this when their first was on his way. Every one of their kids has been changed atop this dresser... and if you look close, little Raymond John is awaiting his turn.
And for good measure, what would a post of pictures be without a good ole phone picture? Both mom and son love the boppy. Isn't he a cutie?
ps. A few of you have indicated you want more info about my labor... feel free to call or email me (carlyjane35@gmail.com).

Meet our Little Man

Raymond John
Born Friday, June 5th @ 12:11pm\
8lbs 14 oz, 21 inches long

Isn't he beautiful? When the pushing got hard Jeremy motivated me to keep going by saying, "Carly, his hair is red!" I had honestly mentally prepared myself for a very dark haired boy... and was shocked to be blessed with a little redhead. I couldn't be happier.

Labor started sometime on Thursday, with consistent contractions coming about 8:30 that night. By 2:30am we headed to the hospital. Since I'm new to this whole pregnancy, labor, and delivery business I was a little unsure of my ability to know when it was "the real thing." Happily for me, I was well on my way (dialed to a four and fully effaced). About ten hours later (after a lot of sitting in the rocking chair, doing acrobatics to flip him from being posterior, and pushing for what seemed like eternity) little Raymond John was welcomed to the world.

I must say that I love being a mother. I love holding him and feeding him and kissing his soft chubby cheeks. Despite being what every nurse and doctor called a "big boy," he just seems so tiny to me. I marvel at his perfect little fingers and toes and his sweet little presence in our home.

We are adjusting to each other--spending lot of time bonding in the middle of the night particularly--and find we'll keep each other. My mom has been here all week and has been such a great support, help, and cook (besides being just fun to hang out with).

I apologize for only having pictures from the hospital for today's post. I have taken more (and even have some of the nursury, Kendra!), I just need to get them downloaded. The good news is the internet is here to stay... and soon the pictures of my Little Man will overflow.

All my love,

cj

And the wait continues...

Well, folks, I'm still here. And the bun is still in my oven. So far we have a week to go to delivery date... so we'll see what happens between now and the 15th when my doctor is willing to induce me if I haven't gone on my lonesome. Fingers crossed I do!

In the meantime I have been sewing and quilting and beautifying my little abode. Life is great with all this time on my hands! I can't complain.

The only drawback is that we are as of now internetless in our casa... so I probably won't be doing many updates for the next little while. I know my sister will post when little Mr. Christiansen arrives, so feel free to check over there in the next two weeks!

All my love

cj

Carly's guide to moving

1. Start early with the things you don't need to use. (For me, this included most of my wardrobe, books, and half my kitchen appliances)
2. Borrow/aquire boxes and packing materials from recent movers (or box horders, in our case). If necessary, buy good boxes. There is nothing worse than moving with bad boxes.
3. Don't be afraid to use trash bags. Really, they work well.
4. Set limits/goals (i.e. I will pack for two hours today. Or: I will finish this room today. Or: I will only eat six otter pops while packing this morning)
5. Label your boxes well. This time we decided to use coded labels to indicate which boxes go in which room. Awesome. Then we put the labels on the walls/doors of the said rooms to help our little team of movers quickly put those boxes right where we want them.
   
6. Make it a team effort. Make your husband help (being pregnant helps motivate this one along). Don't shy away from help offered on the actual move day.
7. On the actual move day, everything must be in a box. This one is essential. If you don't do this, you don't deserve to ask for help loading the truck since no one should have to help you longer than 2 hours on the move day.
8. Once that miracle of miracles happens (the boxes are suddenly relocated in the new abode), enjoy putting all your things in brand new places and in brand new ways. So much fun!
   
9. Smile when you walk in the door and see less boxes today than you saw yesterday (whew!).

PS. I LOVE our new apartment. Someday I'll take and post tons of pictures. Oh wait, let's be honest, it will never be tons... but perhaps I'll manage to take a few and showcase our beautiful new lugar.

A is for Alligator

Alright, alright I'll reduce myself to more phone pictures. This weekend I was a busy girl. While Jeremy was away in Blanding helping to re-roof his parent's house, I was home sewing and packing. In addition to packing half the kitchen and half the upstairs stuff (go me!), I finally got my embroideries put together. These little guys are planned to go in a row above the crib (which just might get set up this Saturday!). I just love them even though (or perhaps because) they are so simple. It was not complicated embroidery or anything fancy-smancy, but I think they turned out cute, if I do say so myself. All that's left is a little hand quilting (I think I am going to quilt the borders with words that start with the respective letters) and the binding.




I also got three more birds done for my bird mobil. I'm still not sure just how I'm going to do this mobil (or if I will want it to detract from my ABCs above the crib...) but for now I am content to help my little flock grow and grow. Here they are perched atop my sewing machine.

And now I am off to pack my sewing room. There's not much chance of getting anything else made before the move on Saturday, so I might as well tuck my little stashes of fabric into a box to be pulled out and loved another day.

To Mother

Against the Sky by Robert Reid

"Eve was given the identity of “the mother of all living”—years, decades, perhaps centuries before she ever bore a child. It would appear that her motherhood preceded her maternity, just as surely as the perfection of the Garden preceded the struggles of mortality. I believe mother is one of those very carefully chosen words, one of those rich words—with meaning after meaning after meaning. We must not, at all costs, let that word divide us. I believe with all my heart that it is first and foremost a statement about our nature, not a head count of our children."
--Patricia Holland One Thing Needful: Becoming Women with Greater Faith in Christ

This quote sums up for me, in so many ways, what I feel about motherhood. I first discovered it as a student at BYU. I was in my last year of school, student teaching, in fact--teaching budding young folk who were in the process of figuring themselves out. I was the Relief Society President in my singles ward--surrounded by beautiful, talented, independent women. I was working at the MTC--no longer teaching the welfare sisters, as the program had been disintegrated (to my dismay). And I was undergoing a slight identity crisis. No. Crisis is the wrong word. I was fairly sure of my identity as me. Carly Jane. But I wanted, nay, needed, to understand at a deeper doctrinal level just what it meant to be a woman. A Daughter of God. A daughter of the first mother, Eve.

And so I began searching. I scoured my Eternal Marriage manual. I read every talk I could find under every related search word I could think of on lds.org. And in my many readings and ponderings and studies, I came back again and again to this talk/article by Sister Holland. She was not the first, and definitely not the last, to proclaim that our identity as women has everything to do with our abiliy to mother. But for me, it was in reading this talk that the truth sunk in.

I am a mother. I have been and always will be, by virtue of being a woman. It is at the heart of everything that is womanly. As she said, it not a head count of children. It is not so much the ability (or even inability for some) to have children. But mothering, being the Mother of All Living, is something that is deep in the nature of womanhood. It must not be escaped, overlooked, or ignored. We, as women, are to nuture and cherish and foster the inate ability to mother. Which, for me, includes verbs such as: to love, create, care for, console, teach, respect, plant and harvest, guide, discern, and honor--to name a few.

Motherhood is part of who we are, well before we hold a child of our own in our arms. And I am so grateful. The world today would tell women that our identity has to do with anything and everything but mothering. They are wrong. Motherhood is at the very heart of what unifies as women. And I believe, as Sister Holland said, it is a word rich with meaning after meaning after meaning. The greatest insights of our lives will come, I think, as we unlock those meanings one by one.

The insignificant

You know, so much of life is filled with what appears to be trivial or insignificant. We get out of bed in the morning and do the dishes and carry on multitudes of "how are you?" conversations, and it all blurs together into seeming insignificance.

But it's not.

If we choose for it to, itmatters. If we only pay a bit closer attention to the light coming in the window as we get out of bed, or appreciate the texture of that banana, or choose to smile back and sincerely care how so-and-so's day has been.

In an effort to rededicate my pen to the paper, I have been rereading Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg the last few weeks. And what I have gleaned most is the reminder to remember and care about the details. It's easy to let life slip by, waiting for whatever comes next. Tomorrow is the weekend. Next week things will be better. After school's over life will start. But the thing is, today the lilacs are blooming. And today there is a cool breeze. No matter how much I love snow, I would much rather enjoy what today has brought instead of pine after what is six months away.

The rest of what is to come will come. No need to wish it here any sooner than it comes all on it's own. And so despite it all, I am glad that I have today to do the laundry and eat lunch with Jeremy and embroider a wall hanging and listen to Jeremy's Paul Cardall station on Pandora. And anything else that may seem insignificant.