For those of you who don't know from my sisters' blogs, my Grandpa Snowball had a massive stroke early Thursday morning. He has been in the hospital and has suffered so much brain damage due to swelling, that he is no long the gentle, smiling, man I know and love. I just got off the phone with my mom, telling me that they have taken him off other medications and are just giving him morphine--allowing him to go peacefully. I feel sick about it. Almost all of my immediate and extended family are there--holding his hand and sending him their love. Being so far away, it just seems surreal to me. I can't imagine him in a hospital bed, hardly aware of what is going on around him. I can't imagine Grandma's house without Grandpa sitting in the chair opposite her or out in the yard potting and planting and pruning. I grew up just 15 minutes away from them and we spent countless Sunday afternoons and holidays there. Oh how I'll miss him.
It seems strange that soon I will be traveling home for a funeral. The bad news is, I am currently snowed in. Funny that while I have prayed and prayed for a snow day (tomorrow is officially no school!--it's been snowing like crazy for the last day and a half), I am now worried about being able to get home. Whenever the funeral is, I will go up and get Blake and Chad in Provo and then we will drive home together. At least I won't have to go to school tomorrow and can take a day to recoop and get ready for the week and possible sub plans for the end of the week. I just pray that it all works out in the end. And I pray that Grandpa will not have to suffer longer than needed.
3 comments:
Dearest Carly Jane,
Today was a much nicer day seeing Grandpa. He never openned his eyes, but he just seemed so much more peaceful. If you went up and said "Hello Grandpa. It is Tasha. I love you." Or what not he would squeese your hand back. As if he was recognizing that it was you. After seeing him Friday look so bad and agitated it was nice seeing him peaceful. I am grateful that will be my last memories on not the Friday ones. It was really hard for me to leave though. I just didn't want to go, because I knew that more than likely it was my last time seeing him alive. Sara made me cry the most though. She said to him (no one was really paying attention but me) "Goodbye Grandpa. I love you. I know I'll see you again someday." I cry now thinking about it again. But, I am grateful for Brian for coming and watching the boys at M&D's so I could go and spend the afternoon there and not have to drive home alone. I would have cried the whole way others . . . I am pretty sure.
I am grateful you finally got you snow day! (But, I will not be grateful if it keeps you from getting out for the funeral) But, you have a few days yet. I love you so much my Carly Jane. I hope your snow day off is a good one for you.
Love,
Tasha
Thank you, Tasha. I am so glad you and Sara were able to be there--along with everyone else. I just talked to Mom again and she has left. His blood pressure has lowered and his fingernails are turning blue--which are signs that it's soon. I seem to be doing alright, and then I will suddenly find my cheeks wet. It was hard hearing Mom say that she said goodbye, and hearing Sara's last words. I have been rewatching President Hinckley's funeral today and I think it has helped me feel better. I feel so grateful that he (President Hinckley) passed peacefully and know that he is with his dear Marjory. It has helped me to remember that death is all part of the plan and we will see him again. And at least so many have gotten to go and show love and say goodbye rather than something more sudden and unexpected.
bless your sweet grama and grampa. Losing someone you love so much is so tough, I'll be praying for you guys!
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