It shouldn't be hard...

...to sit very still
And think about Jesus, his cross on the hill,
And all that he suffered and did for me;
It shouldn't be hard to sit quietly.
It shouldn't be hard even though I am small,
To think about Jesus, not hard at all.
Primary Song Book, pg 71

Key word here: shouldn't.  Oh but it is, isn't it?
 

I have a friend who has asked me a few times how we keep Raymond reverent during sacrament meeting. I'm sure every single time I look at her surprised and incredulous... because I wasn't sure there were many specific things we were doing to make it happen. And besides that, I'm not sure I think Raymond is always very reverent. He loves to make faces at anyone and everyone sitting behind us (a true little charmer), he likes to try to get to the bench behind us by any means possible, he has been known to start vocalizing his frustration when he doesn't get what he wants immediately.

But by and large, I will say Raymond is a pretty calm little fellow, particularly in public or around people he doesn't know. This means that at Church he can be much more introverted than at home, and will fairly quietly observe everyone and everything around him.

And on top of all that, he and I read books together all day every day. We spend (literally) hours and hours looking at books together. Every day. Thus, when we get to church and his church bag is full of books to look at, he knows what to do. He is very used to that sort of entertainment.

But the question from my friend prompted an in-depth conversation between Jeremy and I on our philosophies about sacrament worship with kids. And while we are not perfect, we are idealist who work hard at putting their ideals into practice. It was interesting to put to words the things we have been almost subconsciously doing with Raymond. I thought I would share what we've learned in the past (almost!) two years.

1. We believe that the goal of sacrament meeting with kids is not to simply keep the children quiet so mom and dad can get something out of the meeting. I'll say it again: the goal is not to make them quiet. The goal for us is to teach reverence. And there is no better time and place to teach than than actually during the meeting. This means we are not stressed out about no longer being able to take notes, hear the whole talk, or otherwise be spiritually uplifted. I mean obviously we want those things to be possible, but know that in the grand scheme they won't always. And that's ok.
2. We work hard to spend the meeting teaching Raymond reverence. We do that by involving him actively in what is going on. For his whole first year of life, Jeremy was in a bishopric and thus never helped with Raymond. When that ended, we shared the responsibility. Now Jeremy takes full custody of Raymond and I of Ginny. So for now, this applies mostly to Jeremy (since Ginny still likes to cry all during Sacrament meeting, I am either at the back of the chapel bouncing her in my arms or in the mother's lounge). Anyhow, Jeremy will sit Raymond on his lap and talk to him through most of the meeting. Pointing out and discussing what is going on during Sacrament, singing hymns and pointing at the words together, pointing out the bishop, and looking at books about Jesus. 
3. We are super ridiculously strict about what our kids are allowed to do during sacrament meeting. The point for us is we do not want to trap ourselves into behavior that will be inappropriate in the future. For example, he is not allowed to eat (he can drink water from his sippy cup, however). We don't do cheerios, raisins, or fruit snacks. He will not starve for an hour. This means we purposefully feed him right before we come. And before he went to nursery, he did get snacks during Sunday school and the third hour. Obviously I know that snacks work for keeping kids quiet, but there's nothing worse than watching seven, eight, twelve year olds eating their way through the meeting too. It's a bad habit we don't want to start. This goes for toys and games too.  We are even getting stricter about coloring or drawing. 
4. We provide other appropriate materials to help him get through the long meeting. For Christmas this year my mom made and assembled church bags for all the grandkids. They are FANTASTIC. She bought quite a few books at Deseret book and we have a few others we rotate into the mix. Since Raymond likes reading books (mentioned earlier), this works great for him.When he sees the bag, he knows it's time to go to church.
5. We teach as clearly as possible that being in the meeting is always better than being in the hall. Jeremy and I both work hard at making being in the meeting more "fun" than getting taken out. Obviously Ginny is too young to really learn this yet, but pretty soon, she will. We started very early with Raymond making the hall a no-good place to be. He gets held tightly in Jeremy's arms with no talking and very restricted movement. No walking in the halls. No looking at pictures. No talking to other people. While being in the meeting means he can move anywhere on our bench (we take a whole side bench). whisper with mom or dad about what's going on, look at other people, read his books. I can't even remember the last time we took Raymond out (unless it was to change his diaper). He knows he would rather be in the meeting.
6. We are diligent about getting to church early. This might seem like a bad idea since it just prolongs the whole meeting, but it actually makes reverence better. Raymond is allowed to stand on the bench and watch people come in (he loves to do this). He shakes the bishopric's hands. He can eat the piece of candy the high counselor gives him (only before the meeting starts). The prelude music really does get him in church mode. It is a calm and quiet transition for him.
7. At five after, if the speaker has not stopped speaking, we don't restrict or hold him back any more. (Well, obviously we wouldn't just let him scream or anything). But if the meeting goes long, we lighten up a little. And hope the speaker takes the hint!
8. We believe nursery is inspired. Hooray for play time after all that reverence!!

It's definitely a work in progress, with some Sundays much better than others.  We'll see how it goes as Ginny begins getting older and as more children get added to the bench. Maybe we'll learn that all are efforts really don't amount do much and it's just Raymond's personality that seems to make it more-or-less work. That and that fact that so far there are only two of them (and two of us)!!

Anyhow, what do you do to teach reverence to your little ones?